One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
