Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
