my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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