Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
