I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
