now i know why i became what i already was.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize