alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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