Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
