I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
