I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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