I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
