Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
