Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
