Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
