Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
