the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
