I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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