I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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