Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
