You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
