Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
