FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
