When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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