I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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