Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sponge bath it is.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
