Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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