It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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