Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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