My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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