then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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