you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
