I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This baby is an asshole
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize