I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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