she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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