Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
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