Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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