so that wasnt chicken after all
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
