If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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