Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
