You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
