she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
