We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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