Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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