if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Drake has all the answers
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
