just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
