Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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