You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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