I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
