So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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