Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
