My first STD was from a foam party
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And then my night got REAL pukey
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
