Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
