Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My hand turned me down
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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