Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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