Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
