Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
