Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
