fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
