think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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