I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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