Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
