I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
