It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
