I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
