Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
